Funny Roast Joke for Old Age
Last Updated on March seven, 2022
Getting sometime is no joke.
**Significant interruption…….**
Of class information technology is! Getting old is hilarious.
With each passing year, it's best to share a laugh well-nigh getting older with friends and family unit.
For a friend or loved one who has both an upcoming birthday to celebrate and – importantly – a slap-up sense of humor, here are over a hundred quondam age jokes for birthday cards.
101 Old Historic period Jokes for Birthday Cards
Nosotros'll outset with our all-time 1-liners, then movement in to funny birthday wishes for BFFs. After that, you'll find some corking, humorous quotes about getting older, followed past the very all-time erstwhile-age puns. And so we'll wrap things upwards with birthday wishes for seniors that will surely brand them smile.
Savour!!
All-time Old Age One-Liners for Birthday Cards
Short and sweet 1-liners to poke fun at your favorite one-time fart.
1. Birthdays aren't as fun when you're older, but fortunately you don't have many more to go.
2. Yous're so old, I heard your social security number is 3.
3. You know you're erstwhile when the candles price more than than the block.
4. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the aforementioned time!
5. With erstwhile historic period comes great wisdom
… and hairs in weird places that demand to be plucked.
6. Fabulosity has no age.
7. Your altogether is becoming a serious burn down gamble with all those candles.
8. Isn't information technology a great feeling knowing you're so onetime there'south nothing left to learn the hard way?
9. I wanted to requite you a funny card, but I was concerned that at your age you lot might pee yourself.
10. Does it experience weird being the aforementioned age as one-time people?
eleven. Things that historic period well: Wine. Cheese. You.
12. Don't you wish that you were as former every bit the beginning time you thought you were quondam?
13. Then….. how onetime are nosotros pretending to be this yr?
xiv. I'm not going to make any age jokes because I genuinely experience bad about how old you are.
15. You're not old, you lot're 30 (plus shipping and treatment).
16. 1 year closer to being back in diapers.
17. Allow me to advise that this is the yr yous offset lying nearly your age.
18. Congrats on being ancient.
nineteen. It's your altogether – smile while you still have teeth!
twenty. Happy altogether! You lot don't look a day older than clay.
Read: How to give someone a gift without existence bad-mannered
Erstwhile Age Altogether Wishes for BFFs
When your all-time friend celebrates a birthday, it'southward e'er skillful to remind them that they're, like, super old.
21. Don't worry about getting older. You're all the same going to exercise dumb stuff, only slower.
22. Happy birthday, dear friend. Now greenbacks that social security check and let's party like crazy!
23. You're so onetime that if I told you to act your age, you'd probably drop dead.
24. Happy birthday to someone who has seen it all, done it all, and doesn't remember a lick of it.
25. Happy birthday! Recollect, exist nice to your kids because they are the ones who will choose your rest abode.
26. Live each day as if it were your final… because at your age, it just might be.
27. It's astonishing that at our age, we still don't demand spectacles. That's because nosotros drink straight from the bottle. Cheers on your birthday!
28. Shout out to my BFF on your birthday! (At your age, that'southward the but way y'all can hear me.)
29. If the good dice immature… bestie, we merely may alive forever.
30. I'grand not saying your old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you.
31. With age comes wisdom.
Happy birthday, genius.
32. Happy 29th birthday!
From your 110lb friend.
33. We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile… and then we'll be new friends!
(plus we'll exist able make this joke every year and laugh like information technology's the first time nosotros heard it)
34. If you become stumbling-boozer for your birthday tonight, remember to wrap yourself in chimera wrap considering people at your age interruption more easily.
35. Age gets better with wine.
36. Nosotros're not old… we're recycled teenagers.
37. I'm soooooooo glad we were young and crazy before there were jail cell phones and the internet and all that evidence.
38. You're officially too old to drop it like information technology'southward hot. So how about you lot just sit downwards like information technology'due south warm.
39. We'll never be over the loma. Afterwards all, nosotros'll be besides darn tired to try and climb it…
40. Happy altogether from your much (much) younger friend.
Related: 200 Simple Altogether Wishes
Funny Old Historic period Quotes for Birthdays
Some of our favorite birthday quotes about old historic period.
41. Happy birthday to someone who truly deserves to be treasured. After all, fossils from your era are hard to notice.
42. They say age is only a number. For you lot, it'due south a actually, really big number. Happy birthday!
43. "You know you lot're getting old when the candles cost more than the block." – Bob Hope
44. I know you don't like attending on your birthday. I but wanted to transport you lot a quick birthday message to cheer you upwardly by reminding you that, thankfully, there aren't many left.
45. How are stars like fake teeth? They both come out at night!
46. Happy birthday, yous one-time fart. I promise your birthday doesn't stink.
47. I was going to poke fun at how old yous're getting on your birthday, merely fortunately for you I was raised to respect my elders.
48. Call back, you don't have to rewind Netflix videos when you're done watching a movie.
49. You're then erstwhile you lot get status updates on your friends from the obituary department.
fifty. Relax, you're not getting old. That ship has sailed – you've been sometime for quite a while at present.
51. Old age is coming to all of us. Only by and large y'all. Happy birthday, one-time-timer.
52. Congrats on another year of not dying!
53. Another twelvemonth closer to hearing aids, walkers, and velcro shoes!
54. Look who'south all grown upward and ready for that annual colonoscopy!
55. You're so old you walked into an antiquarian store and they tried to sell you.
56. You know you're old when your back goes out more than you lot do. I wish you the happiest of birthdays, falling asleep in your rocking chair!
57. Don't stress about your eyesight declining as you become older. Information technology's nature's way of keeping you from daze when you become by a mirror.
58. You don't actually get smarter as you get older. There's simply less stupid stuff left to practise that you oasis't already done.
59. I'm not going to make any quondam-age jokes to dampen this momentous occasion. After all, the fact that you're even so alive is zilch brusque of a miracle and deserves to exist celebrated.
60. If you find your new age difficult to swallow, but add together some tequila. That should do the trick.
Related: Happy Belated Altogether Wishes, Quotes, and Ideas to Coverup Your Screwup
All-time Old Age Puns
Old people dear punny birthday cards.
61. When yous were born, the Expressionless Sea was just sick.
62. Do yous want to know the secret to having a smoking hot body at your historic period? Cremation.
63. If yous e'er own a ranch, you should call information technology "Pasture Prime number."
64. Did yous know that at that place's a prize for getting older? Yep – you get atrophy.
65. As y'all get older, don't bother eating healthy food; go for packaged junk. You're going to need all the preservatives you can become.
66. I've got a slap-up tip for you in your former historic period. Instead of calling the bathroom "the John," call it "the Jim." That mode you can tell people, "I go to the Jim the outset thing every morning time!"
67. You've reached the age when everything is now get-go to click. Your knees, your hips, your elbows…
68. Age is a relative thing. All your relatives keep reminding yous how old yous are.
69. Don't let your historic period become you downward. After all, at your age, it's hard to go back up again.
70. This whole altogether thing is getting sometime, don't you think?
71. You and wine are the perfect pair. Wine improves with age, and you better with vino.
72. Age is a number – keep yours unlisted.
73. "Every bit you go older, three things happen: The outset is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."– Norman Wisdom
74. Information technology's your birthday – time to let you pilus down!
Oh, wait… I forgot, you don't take any.
75. I'one thousand not saying you're former, just if you were whiskey yous'd be expensive. Really expensive.
76. I didn't go you annihilation for your birthday because I wasn't sure what you wanted. At your age, it usually… Depends.
77. In wine years, y'all are extra fine.
78. Yous've even so got everything y'all had 20 years ago.
Information technology's all just a little bit lower now.
79. You'll nevertheless cut the mustard! You'll just need a little assistance opening the jar.
fourscore. At this historic period, when yous ringlet a joint it'south probably only your ankle.
Gift ideas for someone who's actually super old: 100th Altogether Gifts & Party Ideas for a Beloved Centenarian
Funny Birthday Wishes for Seniors
Humorous yet sweet birthday wishes for senior citizens (or those getting close to senior citizenship!).
81. They say that with quondam age comes wisdom. That must hateful yous're the wisest person in the world!
82. I'm going to take you out to dinner for your birthday – do you call up you tin get us all the senior discount?!?
83. In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.
84. Birthdays are healthy. Statistics show that the more yous have, the longer you lot live.
85. Getting older has some benefits… Call it a "senior moment" and you can go away with simply almost anything!
86. Congrats on reaching the wonder years! You wonder where your keys are, wonder what day it is, wonder where your car is parked…
87. "The undercover of staying immature is to live honestly, consume slowly, and lie about your age." – Lucille Ball
88. This year, may you lot ever get upward off the couch in two tries or less.
89. At least you lot're not equally sometime as you will be next yr!
90. We're going to try and go all the candles on your cake lit before the first ones burn down down. Wish us better luck than last year!
91. May you get as much praise and attention on your birthday as the boilerplate millennial feels entitled to every day.
92. A very happy birthday to someone who is at present taking drugs on their birthday for actual serious medical reasons.
93. Congratulations on existence born!
A really, really long time ago.
94. The older you become, the ameliorate you get.
Unless you lot're a assistant.
Related: The All-time Gifts for 90 Year Olds
95. "How old would y'all be if yous didn't know how old you are?" – Satchel Paige
96. Happy birthday! Delight accept my sincere condolences on your age.
97. I've heard it said that getting older is similar living in a haunted house. At that place'south lots of noises and smells you just tin't explain.
98. For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth. Only they were all out of cave art and dinosaur basic, then I but got yous this card. Happy birthday!
99. Happy birthday! But seriously, take it easy on the birthdays. Doctors agree that likewise many just might kill you.
100. "Erstwhile age is not so bad when yous consider the alternative." – Maurice Chevalier
101. You're not old. You're a classic.
More funny altogether quotes: 100 Hilarious Quotes for DIY Birthday Cards
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